Frick.

Alright, so I've been doing a pretty fair amount of writing as of lately. That's going amazing. Finally opening up and reading my lyrics to those closest to me is scary, but I've been doing it. I still have a ways to go and tons more things to write about, but I'll get to where I need to be soon.
Surgery is finally happening on Tuesday. It's really terrifying. I know that everyone is telling me that it'll be alright, and I know that they believe that...however, they aren't the ones that are getting it done. It's scary. Instead of being told "the doctor's know what they're doing", it would be nice to hear "I know, it's scary, but I know you'll be alright".
The past few days have been super weird. Just getting a weird vibe from everyone. It seems like because the sun went away, people got angry and bitter.
But on the other hand, I've been doubting myself a lot and in a weird mood, so it very well could just be me. I've been doubting things with boys, things with family, things with who I see in the mirror.
I feel like I'm not up to par with everyone else. Like I'm not on the same level (whether it be higher or lower, still haven't made up my mind). I feel like Nanaimo has somehow corrupted my confidence. I have never questioned myself with people and I find that I am.
I just see myself changing, becoming who I want to be. It's really nerve wracking. Taking those steps out of your secure cocoon...it's overwhelming.
Putting yourself out there for someone you barely know, that's terrifying...

But life is about risks, no?